Welcome To The Toilet Blog
Radio Interview For BBC World News 7th August 2008
Woo Hoo! Worldwide coverage here we come...
I was contacted by the BBC recently to give my opinion on the state of the English Pub Toilets. Standing in The Duke Of Edinburgh in Barrow I was given a Midi Disc Recorder and conducted the interview through mobile phone. I was asked many questions ranging from toilet ettiquette, through to the required facilities...
The most embarrasing aspect of being a spokesman for toilets is that the interviewer asked me to find a lady who wouldn't mind answering a few questions from the female point of view... yep, I felt a little strange, but there you go...
The interview will be broadcast shortly... the exact date will be posted here and I will put a link to a webcast here also.
Toilet King
Its A Bit Late In Coming 05 May 2008
Its a bit late in coming, but I've been away for a while. Back in 1982 I was lucky enough to have the privilege of using the Queens own private bog. I popped in one day for a chat, Liz was on the bed reading Melody Maker, I think. I sat down and had a chat and a fag with her. Its always the first smoke of the day that lights the brown fuse for me. So I asked if it was alright if i could use her khazi. And what a khazi it was!. It was spanking clean (no skids or owt!) and smelt like me Nan's perfume.
The facilities were top notch too, there was a full row of optics full of gin, a soda stream, a breville and an atari linked up to a colour portable with 'Tank Pong' playing on it. She even had a golden shower!. My only complaint would be the over zealous nature of the staff. I found the flashbang/stun grenade a bit 'OTT' and the balaclava clad bouncers weilding automatic weapons, repeatedly shouting "Get down on the bloody floor!" a bit on the theatrical side. The toilets at Bow St magistrates were a hell of a step down.
Submitted By Michael Fagan (Apparently)
Toilet Images On Their Way 21 Aprii 2008
Hopefully we will have images on the gallery page very shortly. The Toilet King is currently travelling around the streets with a toilet in his car boot. It is not what I would usually do, but needs must.
There have been quite a few odd looks when you open your boot to reveal a toilet pan... however thanks to EPS of Barrow In Furness for the kind gesture.
Toilet King
Disabled Toilet Provision 3rd March 08
How about some pieces on disabled toilet provision? Too many architects provide what they think is suitable without realising that some wheelchairs are electric powered and so wider than the ones they use for their measurements. To always use the minimum as the target for sizing is so wrong. Us older folk too need to have more space in ordinary loos. If you should venture in to the signposting maze could be very productive of comments! Only one toilet facility in the whole of Barrow Town Centre is really a public toilet ( the ones in Fell Street by the car park) and they can be closed on Sundays and Bank Holidays. NOT convenient. Suppose the bushes nearby........
Reply from Toilet King
I will soon launch a section for disabled toilet location - thank you MA for your suggestion.
Competition 5th Nov 07
This tale is similar to the "welly log" incident reported earlier - years ago my sister referred to a lad in her year at school and named him as "Jeremy Fart Pants", I laughed a replied "Jeremy fart pants - how did he get that name!!??"
It turns out a load of the so called "cool-kids" who hung out at the back of the school to have a quick fag or snog etc, were trying to out fart and belch each other, with each person trying to out do the last.
As you can imagine this could only go horribly wrong - and when it reached its peak (the point of no return obviously) a boy named Jeremy - who was not particularly trendy, cool, or funny said, "Hey, everybody, listen to this one!" at which he kinked his leg and did a fart of astronomical proportions, followed by a log rolling down his trouser leg, and falling at his feet. This then brought loud howls of laughter from the lads, and shrieks of horror from the girls. Needless to say - Jeremy ran home in a rather tearful manner. And from that day the J.F.P. was christened, or - Jeremy Fart Pants.
The moral of this story is - don’t try to out fart any body - it’s not big, and it’s not clever... (Well unless you can pull it off - or you tuck your trouser legs in to your socks!!)
Submitted by Dime One
Toilet Talk 22nd Oct 07
It has been amazing how many people have agreed with the old adage 'Clean Toilets - Clean Kitchens.
Although, there have been quite a few people that think the idea is complete nonsense, and these have been fellow males. I am forging ahead with the project as I still believe the majority will find this to be a reuseable source of information.
However, is the belief that male toilets don't necessarily need to be clean and well maintained because men tend to walk into a toilet, stand at a trough and then leave? Are we conditioned from a young age that we should put up with toilets because thats how it is?
I believe it shouldn't be like that. Men shouldn't have to put up with it. Even sceptics of this site would surely appreciate a better toilet experience. Hopefully they will use this site and find the joy in a clean and well presented 'little boys room'.
Toilet King
A Story From Childhood 29th Sept 07
This occured many years ago, somewhere in the early seventies. My friend (who will remain nameless) and I were messing about in a field at the bottom of his street. Probably playing football or some chase game, when he suddenly stopped. All I remember was the serious look that appeared on his face.
It could only have been minute that passed before he put his hand down inside his welly and pulled out a healthy looking poo! Proudly showing it to me, he placed it in the hedge and we carried on playing.
This incident has stayed with me this long and I often look back at it as one of those seminal moments of such an innocent age.
Toilet King
Setting Up the Site 29th Sept 07
Hello and welcome to the Toilet King Blog - we will be covering all aspects of our toilet lives here so please give us a little leaway, we are not aiming to disgust anybody, however we can envisage some entries that might just tip the scales.
We are looking to recruit people from around the country who can contribute to the Toilet King in an impartial way. Please make contact through the contact form. We hope you will join us in the quest to make this the best toilet resource on the net.
Toilet King.
Rated Toilets... so far
Take a look at the ever growing list of the good and the bad. All the toilets visited by the Toilet King are described and rated.
Submit your own photographs...
We would like to show your images of your favourite toilets.
Read the toilet blog...
Please feel free to read the toilet blog... It may be sporadic in content, but, we will try to keep it regular.